Name Calling & Bullying
At home, practise or play-act with other members of your family using situations that you think might happen at school or in groups. It’s amazing how this can give you the confidence to stand up to another kid and give a good answer back. That way you are doing the solving for yourself which will feel pretty good!
Here are three simple questions that will help you sort out what’s happening and give the right response:
Who is doing the name-calling? (Is it someone close or someone you hardly know? Is this person and their opinions important to you?)
Why did they do it? (for fun, jealousy, genuine dislike or didn’t know about my difference?)
Do you accept or reject the name-calling? (Will it get to me, can I ignore it, should I tell them how I feel?)
(sourced: AboutFaceInternational;’ Making Faces’ by Logan Bristow)
What can I do if I am being bullied at school?
Your school may already have a way of dealing with bullying and if you’re not sure how it works then talk to a teacher. If you don’t have a system at your school and aren’t confident about dealing with it yourself using our hints and how-to’s, then ask a question here and we’ll point you in the right direction for advice and/or others will respond by sharing how they dealt with the situation.
We all need friends in our lives but the reality is, it can be difficult to know how to make and keep friends, especially if we are feeling self conscious about our appearance.
When a group of 13 year old boys and girls were asked to come up with a list of what they liked about their friends, this is what they said, and it makes pretty good sense too…
- show an interest in what people do
- are good at giving compliments without going overboard
- go around with a pleasant expression on their face
- laugh at people’s jokes
- are kind
- ask, not demand, to join in
- offer to help others with work or carry things
- invite people to do something
- hang around places where other students are
- are welcoming to new students
- are good at thinking of something interesting to do
- are willing to share
- are humorous and tell jokes
- are fair
- are good at organising games or activities
Just because you feel you are different, all the things that will make you a good friend, still apply and also give you a guide to what you should look for in good friends for yourself.
What makes you a star!
Go on, write a list
Feel great about yourself and write down all the things that make you unique. Then get your family and friends to add to the list – don’t you feel proud?
You are a star!
If anyone has any questions about your appearance answer like the star you are!
Why do you look like that?
I was born with a break in my lip it is called a cleft and the doctors fixed it. (Keep it simple, if they are interested they will ask you to tell them more)
It’s part of what makes me, me. Like your green eyes and my (add in something you love about yourself)
Is it catching?
No, I was born with this condition. It was no one’s fault and the doctors fixed it.
Why do you talk funny?
I was born with a hole in the roof of my mouth, it makes it more difficult for me to make certain sounds.
How did that happen?
I was born with a cleft. It is a hole in my lip which the doctors fixed.
If you are feeling like it, you can make up wonderful tales of bravery & excitement. Most kids believe the lot!
Does it hurt?
No, as I was born with this I am pretty used to it. Surgery can be tough, but I have learnt how to deal with pain.
Will it go away?
For me and the people who know me it already has. It is part of who I am. As I grow up it will change and I will need more surgery, having a cleft has made me who I am today, and so will never entirely go away.
If someone stares here’s what to do:
- Smile back – amazingly effective!
- Ask if they need some help
- Walk away – its their problem
- However, if a situation definitely doesn’t feel comfortable, remember to tell those who you trust and who care for you-your friends, your teacher and your parents.
Are you changing your school or moving up to secondary school soon? Everyone feels nervous when things change and are new. If you are moving to a secondary school in the same area and are a bit worried about some of the kids that may be moving with you, just get your parents to contact the secondary school NOW and make them aware of the situation. That way the school will be aware and can make some plans to support you. Remember you will have friends moving with you too, people who have known you for a long time and accept you just the way you are.
It is exciting and sometimes a bit frightening to either be changing schools or moving up to secondary school. There will be new things to learn, the school may be bigger, you will have more teachers and more homework.
You will also make new friends and have fun.